Online Exclusives
Search Articles
Back Issues
Gay Bars, Gay History
How To Be a DJ
Celebrating Ourselves
A Deeper Pride
Fire Island Pines Recess
Divers/Cité
A Circuit Mom Speaks
Eric von Kuersteiner
Plastic Fantastic
Tenofovir: The New Party Drug?
Under Pressure
Atlantis Freedom Cruise 2009
Brenda is the New Black
Tina Turner
Giant Among Us
Folsom Street Fair
The Ball & Chain Gang
Hurricane Madge
A New Way to Masterbeat
All-Natural FLAVA!
Celebrating Ourselves
CEO of FindFred.com on Supporting Gay Festival Culture
Written by by Mickey Weems
Whether virtually or in the real world fantasy of clubland, Gay men are constantly pursuing their favorite passion: other gay men.
This doesn’t mean we are always on the prowl. But we really do love each other’s company. Those of us who are looking for somebody in our lives, whether for an evening, a lifetime, or just to expand our circle of friends, will make our way to the bar, dance floor, or keyboard. We will spend considerable time, effort, and funds in our quest.
But we are also part of a larger group: the gay continuum of brothers and sisters and allies. As much as we are accepted in society, we are not fully accepted yet.
FindFred.com, a site for gay men made by gay men, has come up with a means by which we can come together online with others sharing similar interests as ourselves, have fun on a site with state of the art web design, and support the community at the same time. FindFred has committed 10% of its revenue to LGBT causes. Raj Lahoti, CEO of FindFred, is also committed to supporting gay themed events we so dearly love.
Meet Raj, the man who wants to change the virtual world.
Exploring Online Possibilities
“Anytime gay men congregate for a vacation together en masse there is a creative positive experience to be had,” he said. “Whether it is Gay Pride, Halloween festivities, Rehoboth Beach, an Atlantis Cruise or even weekends in Saugatuck or Fire Island, they all generate electricity.”
Lahoti and his business partner, Ray Brown, are intimately familiar with gay festival culture. Having travelled the world, they insist on vacationing in places where the events cater to gay men. Both men met their partners at large-scale dance events: Raj met Travis Samson one Labor Day Weekend in Columbus with DJ Bryan Pfeifer spinning 9 years ago, and Ray met Matt Hernandez at Detroit’s Motor Ball 8 years ago. Both couples have stayed together since.
Raj sees the scene as similar to the community that FindFred is creating: “In a virtual sense, we are a gathering of gay men online. There is a positive energy that comes from knowing we are amongst our ‘love interest’ peers.” He attributes the special intensity that comes with gay men to the fact that there are not that many of us, and we don’t always advertise our orientation. “We’re not a clearly visible minority,” he observed, “so gathering is how we could find our match. Both online and ‘live’ gatherings of men result in matches time and time again.”
FindFred is modeled after the best real-life places to meet. “For years, we have successfully run businesses such as bars, clubs, and restaurants that are designed specifically for socializing,” Raj said. “Our Gay Match feature is modeled after an attractive place to meet guys and get to know them. We are reinventing design-interface usability.”
In the same way that Gay men often want their own comfort zone in a beautiful space that is neither too Straight-laced nor sleazy, FindFred hits a happy medium. And as a space made by gay men for gay men, Raj said point-blank: “We shouldn’t have to sue e-Harmony to have gay match. We need to create it for ourselves.”
Living in Both Worlds
So what makes FindFred different? One big thing is corporate attitude. “We are serious enough to build a robust match engine to energize the gay online community, yet we know that a computer alone cannot predict a match,” said Raj. “We realize that match online can’t take the place of real-life meeting.”
At the same time, Raj pointed out that so many gay men live in both the real-life and virtual worlds: “Your online life is like a checkpoint. When we meet guys face-to-face, the first thing we do is see if we can find them on Facebook and find more information, It goes both ways.”
But the biggest thing that makes FindFred is the commitment to the gay community. Besides virtual/real worlds, gay men live in two gay worlds: one that fights for rights of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Transpeople everywhere, and another that celebrates.
Giving 10% of its revenues for gay causes helps the community in general, but FindFred doesn’t stop there. Like many of us in the scene, Raj is interested in supporting established events. “FindFred plans on keeping our community connected by offering free ads to the events around the globe. Atlantis Cruises are a must do. We need to support these events so we can be sure to have them. No offense to our hetero counterparts, but sometimes it is just nice to be amongst other people who share our bond, our struggle, our humor and our commonality.”
In addition, Raj is exploring the possibility of extending discounts to members by purchasing blocks of tickets at reduced rates. Like so many of us, Raj is fascinated by the magic that can happen on the dance floor. “It’s amazing to me that as gay men we can just show up somewhere and have an instant bond with strangers, and within 3-7 days have new friends. It is much like being Indian. I can go to a Bhangra party and have instant fun with the crowd.”
Well, it’s about time for a gay Bhangra party. Most gay men live for a Bollywood moment!
Get a FREE Subscription to FindFred by using PROMOCODE NOIZE when subscribing. Offer good through December 31, 2009 at FIindFred.com
